Ok, so we've talked about having friends for all seasons.  Which is great.  But what happens when a friendship goes down the tubes?  Have you ever had a friend that you had to "break up" with? 

So I have this friend, let's call her Sara.  Sara was my go to friend.  We did everything together.  She wasn't a friend for all seasons.  She was the all seasons friend.  Very rare, and hard to find.  Well, we were pretty tight for a couple years.  Obviously we knew each other very well.  We had kids of the same age.  We were both married.  We were the same age.  We both had a similar sense of humor and saw life relatively the same.  Hard to believe, I know.  Everything was great.  It was so nice to have such a close girlfriend again.  It seems like once we get married and have kids, we women lose our friendships.  Why is that?  I can't think of a time in life when a woman needs a good woman friend more.  Do we just lose ourselves in our marriages and our mommy roles?  We lose our individual selves?  We no longer "have time" for such trivial things as support systems???  But I digress.  Back to the point- so we were tight.  Well, for some reason, unknown to me, she's ditched me. 

I do have to throw in a red flag.  Have you ever had a friend that you knew was "not right" in some way but you couldn't quite put your finger on it?  They are generally narcissistic types who are so much fun., the life of the party.  But unfortunately they are so self centered that these friendships typically burn out.  Lights out, party's over.  If you are healthy anyway.  You tend to get tired of the friend having to be in the spotlight 24/7.  It gets tiring.  But these people are so entertaining.  So funny.  And they tend to make you the center of their world.  Which lets face it, feels good.  Who doesn't like to feel needed?  Well, Sara was this girl.  I knew it.  I knew it going in.  I've had a longggggg history with these types.  I fall for them every time.  I must have been needy my own self.  I must have been lonely.  Who knows but I fell for her.  I knew it at the time this wasn't going to be good, and it wasn't.

So, I can't say that unknown to me Sara ditched me.  She's ditched me because I don't offer her anything anymore.  She got what she wanted and she's moved on.  Have you ever had this experience that I'm talking about?  I'm so mad.  And mad at myself because I knew better.  But like every good woman I know I think I can change a person.  Man, woman, or child.  It doesn't matter.  I can fix them and make them better.  Yuck. 

I don't want to be that person any longer.  It all goes back to self esteem.  Why do we women have such a hard time with self esteem?  It doesn't seem to matter what kind of family you come from, your socioeconomic status, your educational level.  Too many of us suffer with not expecting enough.  From male relationships, to female relationships, to employment relationships, to our parenting.  We really need to work on this as a collective group and figure it out.  It's wreaking havoc in all social arenas.  We allow men to continually objectify us.  We allow our kids to walk all over us.  We allow our employers to pay us less and overwork us.  Willingly! 

So, I've been ditched but I swear this time I've learned my lesson.  I'm steering clear of red flags.  You know what I'm talking about too!  I want you to steer clear too.  Teach your daughter to expect more from people and they will expect more from themselves.